What is Life Coaching?

I am very honored to be a part of a new ministry at Fair Oaks Church that was just launched today - LIFE COACHING! I have been involved in coaching, in one way or another for a couple of decades now, but never have I been more excited than right now for how God will be using me through this ministry.

People have asked me before "so, what is life coaching?" but, as a naturally long-winded person, never has my response been so concise as when I was asked to keep it under 2 minutes for the video promo. That was a great incentive to get very clear about what life coaching is all about.

Life Coaching is all about helping people move forward. Unlike counseling which often focuses on analyzing the past as an explanation for current obstacles, Life Coaching starts with where you’re at – kind of like how Christ meets us where we’re at – and moves forward from there. Forget the past, let’s wipe it clean, start right here and move forward. Life Coaching focuses on setting goals, identifying the steps to achieve those goals and developing a method of accountability to take those steps. Your Life Coach partners with you in that accountability. They’re someone who is going to challenge you and push you but not do it for you. And when you work with a Christian Life Coach, every goal, every step, every method is going to be Christ-centered. If it isn’t honoring God, we’re on the wrong track. An objective sounding-board, an accountability partner, a trusted confidant, your Life Coach is going to empower you to move forward quickly and to “own” your results and successes. 

To learn more about this new ministry at Fair Oak Church, click on the Romans 15 Life Coaching Ministry page on this blog or visit www.loudonpurpose.com/lifecoaching for more information or to make an appointment.


Those of us who are strong and able in the faith need to step in and lend a hand to those who falter, and not just do what is most convenient for us. Strength is for service, not status. Each one of us needs to look after the good of the people around us, asking ourselves, "How can I help?" - Romans 15:1-2 The Message

A Journey’s Intermission

Two and a half years, 60 credit hours, a 32 page petition, 3 character references and a 4 week review/ waiting period and it’s finally official! I’m adding a few new letters after my name: MCLC – Master Christian Life Coach!

When I finally put the postage on that 32 page packet, the last step in my process after completing the course work, and put it in the mail box, there was a great sense of accomplishment. In a way, it felt like a journey’s end, a finished work. But the whole purpose of the accomplishment was to pave the way for a new journey, a future journey.

Certainly, I do a lot of coaching in my current occupation – the skills these classes have given me will (and have) come in handy – but having formal credentials are for a calling of another sort. God has blessed me with many gifts in this area and he seems to keep putting people in my path who need someone with these particular gifts. I believe He’s been trying nudge me in this direction for quite a while.

So I do a lot of coaching (much of it pro bono) on the side. I do have a really good “day job” that I love – good people I work with, a non-profit with a mission I believe in – but in my spare time, I take a client or two as God leads me. This fulfills my purpose in a way a job just can’t.

About six years ago when I began my journey to earn my BCBC credintial (Board Certified Biblical Counselor) I seriously entertained the idea of going into Christian counseling full time, but that wasn’t God’s plan for me at the time. Working in the “real” world in a secular environment gives me so much more opportunity to witness that I might not have otherwise and I have seen God’s hand in my placement there.

But at some point, when I retire from the business world, I’ll be well equipped to pursue my passion of helping people. In the meantime I know I can count on God to keep putting people in my path who need my help and it brings me great joy to oblige.

Unlikely INTJ Occupations

A few days ago I published tongue-in-cheek a post about INTJ's in the role of counselor. Unless the editors at CPP were drunk when the MBTI bible went to print, you won't find empathy and compassion on the INTJ "common characteristics" list. Not that we're not capable (I like to think I transcend many of the INTJ stereotypes) it's just not likely for an INTJ to choose an occupation that exercises those muscles. Although I might make the observation that since INTJ's like to dissect and solve puzzles and may be far better suited to be empathetic in dealing with other people's feelings (as long as they don't have to disclose their own feelings) they could make excellent counselors, but I digress ...

Although counseling is certainly a part of what I do, the better part of my last two decades have been spent in the Human Resources discipline. Another unlikely career choice for an INTJ for similar reasons. Although I thank God for my verbal filter, this cartoon certainly has played through my head on more than one occasion when handling employee complaints:

I also discovered a Google group a few months ago of INTJ pastors discussing their common challenges in ministry roles related to their type. Talk about a Typological challenge!

Of course, the INTJ loves a challenge. Even the grim reaper will have trouble taking the most stubborn INTJ down!

Thank God for the Introvert's Verbal Filter

One of the common (MBTI) characteristics of an Introvert (I) is that we typically have a well developed verbal filter. Since my other Type characteristics (NTJ) tend to make my thoughts critical, direct and sarcastic, I’m very appreciative that most of those thoughts remain thoughts and don’t actually come out of my mouth.

Last summer, my friend Tracey posted this Bob Newhart video on her blog, reflecting how she was appreciative that her husband Roy was the counselor in the family, because if she were the counselor, the sessions would likely go like this:

I do a lot of counseling in my job and I have to confess that this clip runs in my head from time to time. Sometimes you just want to say “stop it!”… but you don’t.

Another one of my favorite TV counselors/therapists is Jane Lynch’s Dr. Linda Freeman from “Two and a Half Men.” If Jane weren’t so busy on “Glee” (another favorite of mine) I’d petition for Dr. Linda Freeman to get her own spin off show. I could easily watch 30 minutes of this every week. Couldn’t you?

The Niche & Nuance of Christian Life Coaching

I have spent far more of my professional career providing counseling rather than coaching, but I have to say that (as much as they seem to overlap) I far more enjoy the nuance of coaching and they are distinctly different approaches in the "helping" disciplines. Likewise, I've spent many more years providing secular counseling, versus Christian counseling, despite the fact that I was a Christian at the time. The idea that counselor - or coach - happens to be a Christian (or is providing help to Christians) does not distinguish their practice or methodologies as "Christian Counseling" or "Christian Coaching."

Counseling vs. Coaching

My first "counselor" job was back in '91, but by today's definition, the approach would have more closely aligned with a "coaching" practice. Boiled down to it's simplest form, counseling looks back while coaching looks forward.

Counseling is more problem-focused - exploring the root cause (past) of feelings to arrive at acceptance and resolution with the patient or client in a subordinate role. Coaching is more solution-focused - identifying behaviors (present) and outcomes (future) and creates more of a partnership to achieve the desired goals.

If someone is in counseling, it could create a perception that something's wrong with them. For many, the "something's wrong" is less about them and more about their circumstances. Many people don't want to admit they have problems in their life.

Life coaching on the other hand, does not carry this stigma. Life coaching is all about moving forward, taking action and accountability. People receive results a lot faster when they learn to act on their own behalf, rather than if they spend countless hours re-hashing the past on a counselor's couch.

Secular vs. Christian

What defines life coaching (or couseling) as "Christian life coaching" is about the foundation from which one coaches, not about whether the coach themselves is a Christian, the people they are coaching are Christian or the venue is Christian (like in a church). It's a foundation of biblical principles that shape the coaching practices to provide life tools that keep our eyes on Jesus.

Secular coaching is humanistic and relies on the client's self-imposed goals. Christian coaching is Christ-centered. Within Christian coaching, there is a three-way relationship between client, coach and Holy Spirit. Secular coaching involves a two-way relationship between coach and client.

Christian Life Coaching is about helping to set and achieve Godly goals, getting results, sharing insights and inspirations, applying proven truths from Scripture, building testimonies of God's faithfulness, learning how to love the way Christ loved and coping with issues like health, money and relationships in a way that always points back to Jesus.

God wants us to thrive "For I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord, plans for your welfare and not for evil, to give you a hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11

Sometimes it's difficult to see God's plan for our lives by ourselves. That's where a Christian life coach can help. Christian coaching is based on the foundation that God empowers and enables you to be all that He destined you to be.

"For God is working in you, giving you the desire and the power to do what pleases him." Philippians 2:13

Why Work with a Life Coach?

People usually begin working with a life coach because they need some professional assessment, direction and motivation. Good coaches specialize in helping people with certain areas of their lives.

Just like athletic coaches, we coaches are not all the same. You wouldn't choose a little-league coach to help you fine-tune your golf game! (Did you know that Tiger Woods still uses a coach?) Some coaches are experienced in personal financial issues, career coaching, health and fitness coaching, and many other areas.

My areas of specialty have long been in executive coaching, performance coaching, career coaching, image coaching, communication and relationship development... but about 8 years ago, God showed me that I didn't need to keep a wall up between my business life and my spiritual life through an unexpected opportunity to witness at work.

That event inspired me to go back to school to get some formal Biblical tools to blend what I already had in my Coaching and Counseling tool kit which ultimately resulted in my BCBC credentials (Board Certified Christian Counselor). In addition to my more "corporate" coaching disciplines, I have also completed studies and develop a coaching and counseling "niche" in the areas of:

• Marriage & Family Relationships
• New Generation Parenting
• Children & Teenagers
• Stress & Anxiety
• Loss, Grief & Trauma
• God-centered Finances & Debt-free Living

Coaching and counseling are biblical. The Bible, time and again, tells us to seek only the counsel of other Christians. But being Christian isn't enough to be designated as a Christian Counselor or Christian Life Coach. If you are seeking the help of a Life Coach or Counselor, make sure that the "Christian" part is foundational to their work with you, intricate to their process and always guides the path taken to achieve Godly goals and outcomes.

I wrote a post back in June where I talked about God being the ultimate Life Coach, and hands down, He is. But not every average person in need (or even every Christian in need) knows how to find God's will in their challenge without any guidance whatsoever. Sometimes you're just too close to it to see it. In many cases, that's what we might turn to pastoral staff for... teach us, guide us, focus us on Jesus when we stray from the Truth. A Christian Life Coach or Christian Counselor can be a partner in that process as well.

"Keep putting into practice all you learned and received from me—everything you heard from me and saw me doing. Then the God of peace will be with you. Philippians 4:9