Stages of Type Development

As children grow and develop, their personalities take shape and the typological preferences that influence their actions and attitudes begin to reveal themselves through observable behaviors.

Ages 2 to 6
For children between the ages of 2 to 6, the “attitudes” of energy flow and outer-world orientation begin to show themselves allowing us to identify 2 out of 4 of the preferences, the first and the last letters of the four letter Type. From observing their behaviors, we can recognize:

Extraverted Perceivers (EP)
Introverted Perceivers (IP)
Extraverted Judgers (EJ)
Introverted Judgers (IJ)

Ages 7 to 12
Between the ages of 7 and 12, the child's auxiliary function is often not exercised enough to be recognized through observed behaviors. The dominant function, determined by their outer-world orientation, is much more obvious. Accordingly, we can identify 3 out of 4 of the personality preferences for children aged 7-12. They are as follows:

Extraverted Sensing (ESP)
Introverted Sensing (ISJ)
Extraverted Intuition (ENP)
Introverted Intuition (INJ)
Extraverted Feelers (EFJ)
Introverted Feelers (IFP)
Extraverted Thinkers (ETJ)
Introverted Thinkers (ITP)

To narrow in on all four preferences for the 7 -12 group, there is an MBTI based assessment called the Murphy-Meisgeier Type Indicator for Children®. The MMTIC is designed for Type assessment up to the age of 18, but since the MBTI is written on a 7th grade level, children 13 and up can typically take the traditional MBTI for assessment.

Ages 13 and Up
By the age 13, a child's baseline personality is fairly set, and we can usually identify which of the sixteen "adult" personality types a teenager fits into through observable behaviors as well.
Adult Type Development
Type development is the life-long process of gaining greater command over the functions of perception and judgment. This implies a greater sense of quality in their use.

Type theory asserts that we each have and use all four of the “functions” (S, N, T and F) but, as driven by our preferences, we use them in a specific and strict order – Dominant, Auxiliary, Tertiary and Inferior. In layman’s terms, we develop our preferred functions first, then our non-preferred functions.

The stages of adult Type Development are:
1. Development of excellence in the favorite, dominant process.
2. Adequate but not equal development of the auxiliary for balance.
3. Use of each of the four functions for tasks for which they are best fitted.

In theory, full type development occurs by the time a person reaches the age of 50 and, although Type is hard-wired and doesn’t change, someone with fully developed preferences and non-preferences can demonstrate behaviors as both S & N and both T & F as needed in any given circumstance.

For more information about Type and the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator, visit the Myers-Briggs (MBTI) Resource Central.

The Parenting Pyramid

Myers-Briggs and Family Dynamics

Just like the nutritional food pyramid that advocates fruits and vegetables as the foundation of a healthy diet, followed by grains and dairy, and then a sparing consumption of fats and sugars, the balanced “nutrition” of parenting uses a similar pyramid showing where to put your attention for healthy family dynamics and effective parenting.

The foundation to healthy parenting is to first, know yourself. Knowing and understanding your personality preferences through Myers-Briggs is a good start. Being aware of how your preferences influence how you parent will help you be more aware of alternative styles and approaches when conflict arises.

Knowing and understanding the personality Type of your spouse and children can greatly enhance the communication and help establish clear and reasonable expectation within the family dynamics.

Ultimately, the more you know and understand yourself and the other members of the family and what motivates the actions they take and the decisions they make, the easier it is to anticipate behavior, adjust the communication style to turn a potential problem into a “teachable moment” and reduce the volume of correction, discipline and punishment needed.

Parents are freed up to focus on connecting with and loving their kids in a way that resonates with their Type. Learning how to communicate and adapt to each other’s needs and styles will replace the volume of time spent on conflicts and arguments. Discipline will get the least of the family time and attention.

“Listen, my son, to your father's instruction and do not forsake your mother's teaching. They will be a garland to grace your head and a chain to adorn your neck.” - Proverbs 1:8-9

Hesitant to Pray

On this National Day of Prayer, I might have spent my morning quiet time with God the way I always do, praying the things I always pray, but for some reason I was more struck by the things that are hard for me to pray for.

I frequently pray for my leadership (church, work and country) because I see that as not just a Biblical directive, but essential key to successful and Godly outcomes and I have witnessed the fruits of those prayers time and again.

I easily pray for my friends’ and co-workers needs, like the Dowdy family needing a home in Toronto or for my colleague Rich to come through his second back surgery with full recovery and minimal pain or for the 15% of my staff that I’ve had to lay off in the last 2 months…

Where I really struggle is praying for myself or my own needs. God has been so good to me. I feel abundantly blessed far beyond what I could ever be worthy enough to receive or deserve that I feel like praying for anything at all for myself is an ungrateful dismissal for all that the Lord has already provided.

For example, our family has faced some pretty significant financial challenges over the past two years with Edward being out of work, but through it all I have faithfully put God first in my finances and never missed a tithe, and God has faithfully taken care of us, stretching our single income and meager savings far longer and further than I would have ever dreamed possible. Now, as those reserves get ever smaller and the nation’s unemployment rate reaches historical record highs, the prayers for Edward to find gainful employment should be the easiest thing for me to start my prayers with, yet they are not. I should be asking my friends and church family to pray for his employment, yet I do not. Each Wednesday in Chapel when Pastor Philip asks for prayer requests I know I should be raising my hand and asking, each and every week, for everyone to pray for Edward’s job search, that God would lead him to the job he’s supposed to find… yet I sit silent. Why?

There’s this fine line I have trouble reconciling about my will and God’s will. How dare I question God’s plan for this chapter of our lives by suggesting that we need something He didn’t already think of? It’s like I can hear God’s retort, “What do you mean, Edward needs a job? Haven’t I taken care of you? Hasn’t every bill been paid? What… are you all about the money now? Have you suffered? Didn’t I cure your cancer? How could you be so ungrateful? Don’t you trust Me?”

If I’ve learned nothing else in this life it’s that God’s plans are always better that my plans and to trust Him. When things aren’t going according to “my plan” it’s because His plan is taking over and there is a purpose. Even if I can’t discern that purpose in the moment (or perhaps ever) I trust Him.

So I find myself in the throws of these somewhat disingenuous convoluted-wordsmithed prayers that, “God, if it’s part of Your will…” or “God, if it’s not contrary to Your will…” or “as long as this doesn’t impede on Your plan, God…” How silly is that? I can have a good, sincere, natural conversation of prayer with God, right up until I get to something for myself.

Help me out here. Does anyone else experience this, struggle with this? How do I reconcile my “want” with God’s “will” …?