Unapologetic

Sometimes in your Christian walk you are going to do things or say things that people, even your Christian brethren, don't understand, misinterpret, or judge your motives because of where their heart is at... but when your heart's in the right place and God is at the center of it, He will make something glorious from it, no matter how sloppily you got there. I just love that about God. That's all.

GIVING in to Addiction

According to an article in Psychology Today by Stephen Mason, Ph.D., only 10 – 15% of the population have an “addictive personality” disorder resulting in out-of-control habits without the simple judgment of knowing when to stop. For the other 85% - 90% of the population who do not have addictive personality disorder, they can have one drink without having 10. They can play one or two hands of black jack at a casino and (weather they are up or down) walk away. They can come home from the hospital and take the two Vicodin per day as prescribed and not get addicted to prescription pain killers.

I’ve never thought of myself as having an addictive personality. I have a fair amount of self-discipline so it’s not that hard for me to break a habit (or just not start one) if I put my mind to it. But sometimes there are compulsions you aren’t terribly motivated to “put your mind to” to stop because it makes you feel good to do it. If you could stop and you choose not to, is that addiction?

An example might be people who are addicted to exercise (I wish this were my problem). Often a companion symptom of Anorexia, people can get addicted to working out because of the endorphin rush they get and with addictive personality, they just want more and more of that endorphin infusion, so they exercise to excess (and even good things, in excess, can be harmful).

There is one area in my life where I can relate to the addictive personality experience, getting excessive pleasure out of that endorphin rush of doing something over and over again that makes you feel good  and 85% of the population just doesn’t get it and may never experience the pleasure the way you do…

According to an article in the NY Sun, universities and independent research groups have studied the psychology of GIVING and concluded that people who give (time, money, items, blood) are 3 times more likely to consider their lives “very happy” as compared to those who do not give as a part of their lifestyle.

“A number of studies have researched exactly why charity leads to happiness. The surprising conclusion is that giving affects our brain chemistry. For example, people who give often report feelings of euphoria, which psychologists have referred to as the "Helper's High." They believe that charitable activity induces endorphins that produce a very mild version of the sensations people get from drugs like morphine and heroin.”

I have to admit, by those descriptions, I qualify. I get an endorphin high from giving (volunteering) my time to others and adrenaline rush from seeing that bi-weekly contribution come out of my bank account to Fair Oaks Church which supports the cause of Christ and the work of the Kingdom of God. Perhaps it’s the natural competitive nature if the “NT” temperament, but I really do get a jolt out of getting my year-end contribution statements and seeing that I gave more this year than last year. It’s a goal – a competition with myself – to find new efficiencies (budget and schedule) that enable me to give more.

In that context, you’ll have to mark me in the 10-15% group – addicted to giving.

There’s another percentage you often hear related to charitable giving – it’s the 80/20 rule… that 20% of the people are doing 80% of the total giving. I don’t know that to be specifically true at Fair Oaks Church, but I’d be willing to bet it’s close… and it’s heartbreaking.

There so much more we could be doing for the Kingdom of God, if more people were giving. How many more of the lost could we reach for the cause of Christ? Howabout Biblical obedience? How about God’s promise and the blessing that comes from putting Him first in your finances? And I’m not just talking about the endorphin blessing of feeling good about what you’re doing, but a real, tangible, measurable blessing from trusting God with your money.

Every so often Pastor Stokes will put out his Malachi 3:10-12 challenge - that if you commit to faithfully tithe 10% of your gross income to Fair Oaks Church for one year and you do not see God’s tangible blessing in your life, Fair Oaks Church will write you a check back to refund that tithe. As someone who has been faithful tithing for years, I can honestly say that there is not one time where I felt that 10% would have been better in my hands than in God’s. My faithfulnessreturned to me 10 fold and I give God all the glory. God can do more with 10% than you can do with the remaining 90% - guaranteed.

Not ready for that big of a leap of faith? How about something more relevant to the calendar… many people will celebrate the New Year with a bottle of Champagne. Why not take that same amount of money that you might have spent on that bubbly and consider making a one-time gift to Fair Oaks Church for the same amount? If research proves to be true, you could get that same warm endorphin rush from GIVING that you might get from the glass of champagne. I can’t offer you a refund policy, but I can offer you a nice convenient way to give online by CLICKING HERE and, of course, if you do it before midnight on New Year’s Eve, you could claim it as a deduction on your 2011 taxes.

Just as you excel in everything-- in faith, in speech, in knowledge, in complete earnestness and in your love for us-- see that you also excel in this grace of giving. - 2 Cor 8:7

Mentoring and Modeling a Money Mentality

We’ve always talked openly with our kids about money – specifically about how to be Biblically responsible with money. From earning it and spending it to tithing it and saving it, we have not just told our kids what they need to do but we have made sure we have modeled that behavior in everything we do.

Earning it – our kids witnessed their dad walk away from a job (with nothing else in the pipeline) because the employer’s practices violated the law and he refused to smile and go along with it. A paycheck is never more important that your integrity. That decision was followed by a 2 ½ year stint of unemployment where several opportunities were passed on because the companies had questionable histories or practices and the message was reinforced with the kids that money doesn’t trump your morals. We prayed as a family for God’s wisdom, direction and protection and he had out back on all accounts. The kids saw this.

Spending it – Much like the stock market fluctuations, our “disposal” income has had its ups and downs over the years. Especially down when we were down to one income, but fortunately, we had already established responsible spending habits that helped the kids adjust quickly when we didn’t have ability to buy like we used to. Just because you can spend it, doesn’t mean you should spend it. This is a mantra the kids heard in good times and in bad from us. Especially when the 7-year-old neighbor kid (whose parents’ income was a fraction of ours) got the newest $700 gaming system for Christmas and our kids are opening clothes we bought at the thrift store or consignment shop and $20 toys from Wal-Mart. Our kids saw their parents do without things we really wanted, and could afford, but knew that indulging our worldly desires would not be honoring God with our money so they learned this lesson by example, not just enforcement.

Saving it – I have always been a saver, but it was important for my kids to not just practice it but see the importance as well. In first grade the kids started earning an allowance they were taught to put aside 10% for Tithing, 10% for Savings and 10% for taxes. Proverbs 21:20 says “The wise man saves for the future but the foolish man spends whatever he gets” so I wanted the kids to have a concept of what “saving for the future” meant. We would set savings goals that had purpose. For the kids, saving might be for a new video game or toy that they wanted; for mom and dad, saving might be for retirement, a down payment on a house… or a 2 ½ year gap in employment during the country’s biggest recession since the 1930’s. But saving money doesn’t just protect you on rainy days, but also teaches something most of our current generation has never been required to learn – delayed gratification.

Tithing it – If you’ve read much of my blog, you know that tithing is a passionate topic for me and it’s a passion that we’ve passed on to the kids. Whether it’s allowance, found money on the street or their first real jobs this summer, the first thing my kids do is calculate the 10% that goes to the church. But true giving is more than just giving 10% - Deuteronomy 16:17 says “Every man shall give as he is able, according to the blessing of the LORD your God which He has given you.” So if God has blessed you with more, you should be giving more.  It does not equally mean, however, if you have less, you should be giving less. Even when my family was facing financialhardship, we continued to faithfully tithe on what we did have and God provided for us in ways we could not imagine possible. This example taught our kids more than we could have ever imagined without having to preach a word about it.

This brings me to my youngest son. This summer, he had his first real job and, although it was just minimum wage, it was a lot more than his allowance. Taxes took care of themselves, but with each paycheck, he would calculate his tithe (and always generously round up) and then put the majority of his check (like 80% of the net) in his saving account. He didn’t need it for anything specific, so he was going to save it. (Good boy!) It feels great, as a parent, to know that the lessons you preach and the life you model is being absorbed, better yet, reflected in your child’s choices, but that’s not even the best part…

It wasn’t long before my son decided he wanted to use this savings to support Exponential Church, the church plant in Port St. Lucy led by Pastor Christian Gaffney (I know how he felt, I wanted to give to Expo Church as soon as I heard about it too) but, to paraphrase Pastor Christian, since Fair Oaks Church is not going to have a “special fund” for Expo Church, the best way to support the church plant, it to support Fair Oaks Church.

In these last few weeks of the year Fair Oaks Church has been making a plea to members for a year-end gift as the church is more than $100k short in their annual budget. This shortfall is a real burden on church staff and it has placed a special burden on my son’s heart so he reminded me of his savings. He asked to keep just a minimum amount in there to keep the account open and to give the rest to Fair Oaks Church to help them meet budget. Wow! I can’t even put into words how it makes me feel that this kid (who only opened two boxes from his parents on Christmas Day) wants to give his life saving to the church.

So, if my son were writing here, I think he’d want to ask, has his burden has become your burden? No matter what you history with earning or spending or saving or tithing, there’s nothing stopping you from taking this moment, right now, to make a decision for a year-end gift.  Maybe for you, it’s a small amount. Maybe you’re capable of giving a large amount. Either way, by supporting this church, you are supporting the cause of Christ and the work of the Kingdom of God.

Click here to make a one-time year-end gift to Fair Oaks Church.

Tis The Season To Be Tithing, Fala Lalala Laaa La Laa Laa Laaa

This was one of those odd “trending topics” days where several things seemingly unrelated keep bringing you back to the same topic... tithing!

As I was driving the kids to church tonight, my youngest was doing his civics/economics homework in the front seat. They are working on the economy and household budgets and there was a big pie chart on one page that he started telling me about. X% of your income should go to rent, X% should go to medical (I told him they should have printed an addendum for those percentages in the DC area) and so on, but when he got to charitable giving, it said 1 – 3%. What?!? It lead to a great conversation about tithing and that charitable giving was in addition to tithing not a replacement of it (of course there was not “tithing” slice on the pie) and what other percentages might be shifted around to “fix” the text book’s pie chart. Can’t wait to see the teacher’s reaction to that rabbit trail in his homework!

Then when I came home and opened the mail today, there were two letters from my church. One was a letter from the Pastor to the congregation and one was the 3rd quarter summary statement of our family’s annual tithing. I have to say, I really like this 3rd quarter summary because it always makes me feel so blessed to have had the financial means to be faithful in my giving. It also helps me see the big picture and is often a catalyst for a reevaluation for “what more could I be doing?”

I had an unexpected reaction when I opened it today though…. I saw the number at the bottom and said to myself “What?!?! That’s all I gave this year?!?!” Now, there were two quickly forgotten things at play in my knee-jerk reaction… one was that I forgot there were still two more months of giving left in the year; the other was that I forgot my family had only had a single income for the first 6 months of the year. I knew what our current household income was so when I did the simple math of 10% I was coming up seriously short. I felt much better after I figured out my mental error and that I was ahead of the game, but that still begs the original question “what more could I be doing?”

The second letter was from Pastor Stokes to the members of the congregation about our annual giving to date and a budget shortfall of about $85,000. In an economy like this, I know that we are very lucky that this is the extent of our year-to-date shortfall but I can’t help but be disappointed in a shortfall of any kind. Our church staff work very hard to put together an amazing time of worship, fellowship and Biblical message each week and I feel like we’ve let them down that they should have to worry about $85,000 in the last two months of the year. I know we have the collective capacity to make this up – almost effortlessly – if we all commit to it. If every single person who walked through Fair Oaks Church’s doors gave an extra $7 a week for the remaining 6 weeks we’d make up the difference in no time – for the cost of a 2 Venti Lattes a week. You didn’t need all those calories anyway (500 in the seasonal favorite Pumpkin Spice Crème, by the way).

Fair Oaks Church does not typically “pass the plate” but this Sunday we’re going old-school so be prepared and reach deep my friends. And don’t forget you can always give on line by clicking HERE.

Modern-Day Miracles

You know, you’ll hear people say that the miracles of the Bible don’t happen in modern times, yet our last two years seem to be a living testimony that they do.

We have always been a two-income family – it’s a financial necessity, not a lifestyle option. We’ve certainly never lived a lavish lifestyle – never even been able to buy a house, but we were saving for one… along with saving for the boys’ college and retirement and the unknown rainy day. So in February of 2008 when the rain of unemployment came for Edward we felt slightly prepared financially for a short-term gap but greatly prepared spiritually that it was part of God’s plan and that He would open new doors and always take care of us.

Being the chronic planner that I am (which I’m sure gives God a good laugh from time to time) I sat down and mapped out our finances to see how long the severance and savings would take us and I knew it would be several months before we really had to panic. But since you never know, we started making deep cuts to most of the non-essentials, but having faith that something would come through before the reserves dried up, we still continued to contribute to retirement, college fund, pay extra to the credit cards, but first and foremost, tithe.

It never even occurred to us to cut tithing out of the budget. Everything we had, whatever amount that was now, was still all from God. We were going to be trusting Him with our lives and our future why would we suddenly stop trusting Him with our finances? Of course, we had no idea that shortly after Edward became unemployed, the market would crash, our retirement would lose almost half its value, unemployment levels in this country would reach record highs and it would be over 2 years of faith and finances tested. But each day at a time, each week at a time we had faith that God would provide when the time was right and take care of us until that time came... until His time came.

On my financial spreadsheet (which I fondly nicknamed the countdown to poverty) I had drawn a line in the financial sand that was the official “panic point.” And by God’s miracle, every time we got close to it, God pulled us away from it. Over these last two years we experienced miracle after miracle as unexpected needs were met with unexpected resources. Sometimes it felt like God was just dropping money out of the sky when we needed it. When the car needed repairs, I got a promotion at work; when money was tight at Christmas, an anonymous donor from our Fair Oaks Church family paid for the boys to go to Winter Meltdown; when I was diagnosed with cancer and needed surgery, our tax refund exactly covered all my medical bills and deductible; the list goes on and on. Every time we had a specific need or came close to our financial “panic point,” God came through or sent one of his angels.

Over these past several of years, I have been blessed abundantly at work with several promotions and with each one, I immediately increased my tithe and was blessed again. And not only did we continue to faithfully tithe all this time, but somehow we managed to never miss a bill, pay off one car and two credit cards, and last month, feeling so blessed by God, we stepped out on faith and signed up for a regular online donation to Vision T.O. and within days, Edward got his job.

And as if all that wasn’t testament enough to God’s hand in our life and our checkbook, here’s the real miracle….

After Edward got his job we sat down to layout a financial recovery plan (there’s me planning and God laughing again) and realized that in this last year alone, the outgoing expenses that we actually paid exceeded the money that came in by over $60,000. How is that possible? Mark 9:23, that’s how! We sure didn’t have that kind of money in some reserves or savings. No credit cards. God paid those. I don’t know how He did it, but I sincerely believe that our faithfulness to trust God with our lives and our finances and to continue to tithe without fail was returned to us in blessings 10 fold.

And the final miracle was that on the day Edward got his job, our savings account was within $30 dollars of the exact balance it was the day we started this journey. Again, how can that be? Luke 6:38!

“Give, and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you."

There is no doubt in my mind that God took care of us and stretched what we had to meet our needs because we trusted Him to. We trusted Him with our future and we trusted Him with our finances and only begins with tithing.

Now if that’s not a modern-day miracle of Biblical proportion, I don’t know what is.

876 Days of Hope

….or, 125.14 weeks
….or, 31.29 months
….or, 2.40 years
….or, 2 years, 4 months and 20 days

But who’s counting?

Without question, Edward and I are filled with joy to be putting this agonizingly long chapter of our lives behind us, but there are parts of it that I walk away knowing they were some of the best years of our family’s history and growth.

If God had given us a sneak preview and told us that Edward would be without work for nearly 2 ½ years, I’m quite sure I would have experienced some severe anxiety and been tempted to doubt that God knew what He was doing.

But because God only lights our path one step at a time, it actually made it easier, not harder, to put our hope in Him each day – having ultimate confidence that He would keep His promise and take care of us and reward us for our faithfulness and trust.

And He did! It’s still remarkable to me that we were able to stretch my single income and our savings this long, all while faithfully tithing to our church and giving to other charities, and we’ve never missed a household payment. Sure, there are many things we’ve done without and our family savings account is way behind where it could have/should have been by now, but some of life’s best lessons came from this chapter, many I hope to carry into the next.

I learned that God has always got my back. God has a plan and it's always better than mine. And God's timing is perfect! People can say those things, and they can’t believe they mean it, but not until it’s really tested with life’s trials can you really know you meant it.

I learned there’s a lot I can live without. God knows, we didn’t live a lavish lifestyle before, but even things like going to the movies every Saturday. For four people it’s almost $80 dollars a trip, over $4000 a year. Although my teenagers may disagree, cutting back and only going to the movies once every few months didn’t cause any lasting psychological damage and it made the trip to the theatre that much more special.

I learned celebrations are richer without the presents. I suppose as adults, we all actually “know” that, but when we reinforce the opposite message with our actions, it’s hard to sell that message to our kids. Christmas and birthdays especially had probably gotten excessive, especially for the kids. But establishing a “one-gift” expectation really made you appreciate the value of that one gift and drew the focus back to the purpose of the celebration.

I learned that we have really good kids. Well, of course I already knew that, but they have been real troopers with all the things that we’ve had to cut back on and are more appreciative of the things we are still able to do and get. Today we took the kids to the movies for the first time in months and I think they thanked us four or five different times. They’ve grown a lot through this chapter, in more ways than one.

Edward and I were also very humbled by how incredible, generous, caring and thoughtful our family, friends and especially our Fair Oaks Church family are. Not that there was ever a doubt that those characteristics applied, but more, perhaps, that we were deserving recipients of the friendships, prayers and generosities extended. Edward and I are both introverts and pretty quiet people and I think we were a bit surprised that with all the many people who might need support (whether it be a well timed prayer or the delivery of a home cooked meal) that we would be on anyone's radar.

One of the things that I things that meant the most to me during this chapter, and that I will actually miss, was the low-hanging-fruit opportunities to witness to people asking how I could be so positive and full of joy and hope while watching my financial security and life savings evaporate before my eyes and not knowing when or if things would ever turn around. Talking about my security being in God’s sovereign will for my life and knowing that things would turn around just in time – God’s time – and how much God was blessing our lives in other ways, were a great window of opportunity.

Now, as we anticipate what the next chapter holds for the Yost family, I am grateful for the lessons learned over the last 2 ½ years and can’t wait to see how God is going to use us and what He is going to teach us next.

Thank you, again, for all the prayers and encouragement we were so blessed by.

GOD IS GOOD!

GOD IS FAITHFUL!

GOD HEARS OUR PRAYERS AND ANSWERS THEM!

AFTER 2 ½ YEARS OF "WAIT" ... TODAY GOD"S ANSWER IS "YES"!!!

Hesitant to Pray

On this National Day of Prayer, I might have spent my morning quiet time with God the way I always do, praying the things I always pray, but for some reason I was more struck by the things that are hard for me to pray for.

I frequently pray for my leadership (church, work and country) because I see that as not just a Biblical directive, but essential key to successful and Godly outcomes and I have witnessed the fruits of those prayers time and again.

I easily pray for my friends’ and co-workers needs, like the Dowdy family needing a home in Toronto or for my colleague Rich to come through his second back surgery with full recovery and minimal pain or for the 15% of my staff that I’ve had to lay off in the last 2 months…

Where I really struggle is praying for myself or my own needs. God has been so good to me. I feel abundantly blessed far beyond what I could ever be worthy enough to receive or deserve that I feel like praying for anything at all for myself is an ungrateful dismissal for all that the Lord has already provided.

For example, our family has faced some pretty significant financial challenges over the past two years with Edward being out of work, but through it all I have faithfully put God first in my finances and never missed a tithe, and God has faithfully taken care of us, stretching our single income and meager savings far longer and further than I would have ever dreamed possible. Now, as those reserves get ever smaller and the nation’s unemployment rate reaches historical record highs, the prayers for Edward to find gainful employment should be the easiest thing for me to start my prayers with, yet they are not. I should be asking my friends and church family to pray for his employment, yet I do not. Each Wednesday in Chapel when Pastor Philip asks for prayer requests I know I should be raising my hand and asking, each and every week, for everyone to pray for Edward’s job search, that God would lead him to the job he’s supposed to find… yet I sit silent. Why?

There’s this fine line I have trouble reconciling about my will and God’s will. How dare I question God’s plan for this chapter of our lives by suggesting that we need something He didn’t already think of? It’s like I can hear God’s retort, “What do you mean, Edward needs a job? Haven’t I taken care of you? Hasn’t every bill been paid? What… are you all about the money now? Have you suffered? Didn’t I cure your cancer? How could you be so ungrateful? Don’t you trust Me?”

If I’ve learned nothing else in this life it’s that God’s plans are always better that my plans and to trust Him. When things aren’t going according to “my plan” it’s because His plan is taking over and there is a purpose. Even if I can’t discern that purpose in the moment (or perhaps ever) I trust Him.

So I find myself in the throws of these somewhat disingenuous convoluted-wordsmithed prayers that, “God, if it’s part of Your will…” or “God, if it’s not contrary to Your will…” or “as long as this doesn’t impede on Your plan, God…” How silly is that? I can have a good, sincere, natural conversation of prayer with God, right up until I get to something for myself.

Help me out here. Does anyone else experience this, struggle with this? How do I reconcile my “want” with God’s “will” …?

Bible Busting Bulletins and Stokes in the Margin

My Bible cover is getting harder and harder to zip closed - I have flashes that soon my husband will have to sit on it like an over-stuffed suitcase just so I can get it to church and back. Edward bought it for me as a gift about a year before we moved up here, and since then I’ve kept all of my Sunday church bulletins (or more accurately, teaching notes) in it, at whatever page was the focus of the sermon or message.

I actually went through them all this morning (what else do you do with 26 inches of snow outside your door and covering your TV’s satellite dish) and found that, with well over 200 bulletins bulging out of my Bible, about a quarter of them are in the Old Testament and the other three quarters in the New Testament. There are nearly 20 message notes from my old church in Florida, Creekside Alliance, but the majority of them are from Pastor David R. Stokes’s sermons at Fair Oaks Church.

Although over a year ago Edward created a special filing system where I could keep all of my sermon/teaching notes by Bible chapter so they’d all still be in the same order, I resist taking them out of my Bible. I love sitting down for the Sunday sermon, looking in the new bulletin to see where we will be today, and opening up to that page in the Bible to be reminded what I learned from this passage before from a previous message.

If they were tucked away in a very well organized 3-ring binder on the shelf, I might miss my weekly reminiscing of Stokes-isms in the margin. I realize I’m biased here, but Pastor Stokes is an amazing preacher. And, as great as his messages are, and how catchy the alliterations in his teaching notes are, sometimes there’s real gold in the margins: the spirit-led Stokes-isms that flow from the pulpit, but weren’t a part of the outline so you franticly jot down them in the margin.

Here are some of the nuggets I found in my margins:

~ Faith is conviction based on revelation. (Lather, Rinse, Repeat series)
~ The next time you feel like your leader isn’t pleasing you, ask yourself if they are pleasing God. (Detour series)
~ The L.S.D. of the Bible – Lust brings forth Sin, Sin brings forth Death. (Notorious series)
~ Trials are placed in your life by God to draw out the best in you; Temptations are placed in your life by evil to draw out the worst in you. (Faith series)
~ F.E.A.R – False Expectations Appearing Real. (Guilangriefear series)
~ Lust: any desire that is out of bounds or out of balance. (You’ll Shoot Your Eye Out series)
~ Be content with what you have, but never with who you are. (Chapter 11 series & Worship series)
~ Conviction is constructive, guilt is destructive. (For Crying Out Loud series)
~ Tactics without strategy = business without purpose. (Current Events & Coming Attractions series)
~ Sometimes when you get into ritual, you get away from reality. (Worship series)
~ The will of God – nothing less, nothing more, nothing else. (Wasted Series)
~ Can’t afford to tithe? Do the math… you’ve spent more than 10% of your income on bad choices and what did it get you? (Wasted series)
~ You don’t have to wander too far to get outside the Will of God. (Wasted series)
~ Sin is spiritual leprosy. (Marvel series)
~ The shortest distance between the human heart and the Truth is a story. (Grace Anatomy series)
~ Repel sin through insulation, not isolation. (The Others series)
~ Seasons of loneliness are unavoidable, even for the faithful and committed. (The Gospel According to The Beatles series)
~ If you spiritualize without spiritual eyes, you’ll find spiritual lies. (The Flip Side series)
~ What a person does is what a person believes, regardless of what he says. (Church? Why Bother? series)
~ To the extent you are working for God, you are fulfilling the purpose of your salvation. (The Flip Side series)
~ Works are not the root of salvation, but the fruit of salvation. (The Flip Side series)
~ The only part of your salvation people see is what you do, not what you think. (The Flip Side series)
~ The closest thing a believer will experience to Hell is this Earth; the closest think a non-believer will experience to Heaven is this Earth. (Rabbit Ears series)
~ People are incurably religious – if you’re not worshiping God, you’re worshiping something. (The Flip Side series)
~ Some people are “dating” spirituality, but not willing to get married to it. (Faith series)
~ Motivation without implementation equals frustration. (Faith series)
~ Embrace the pendulum – finding deeper joy in deeper crisis. (Faith series)
~ Success is not what you are compared to someone else; success is what you are compared to what you could be. (Add It Up series)
~ Church is a hospital for sinners, not a museum for saints. (Add It Up series)
~ The greater the purity of your heart, the greater the clarity of your vision. (Simply Worship series)

There were a few others I couldn’t make out and a few that, out of context, I couldn’t figure out (on one of them I had “Cool Hand Luke” written next to a chapter:verse) but there are some of my Stokes-isms from the margin.

Did I miss any of your favorites?

From TurboTax to TurboTithe – Letting God be Your Accountant

I’m one of those people who files their taxes as soon as all the paperwork is in (I know, big shock) and today was that day. Having been in charge of payroll – either directly or indirectly – for 20 years, I know exactly how to manage my deductions to get exactly the small refund I want (not too much, I don’t believe in giving my money to Uncle Sam interest free for a year, but I sure don’t want to pay at the end of the year either).

These last couple of years that’s been harder to do because my husband’s been out of work for almost two years now. The logic behind how they calculate the taxes on unemployment seems to elude me, so I wasn’t entirely sure what to expect today when I plugged everything in, but I was praying for a windfall.

Obviously, money’s been tight but we have faithfully tithed to our church and continued many (but not all) of our regular charitable donations having solid faith that God would provide and HE HAS – beyond what is mathematically possible.

Adding to the financial stress was my transition to a high deductable health plan on January 1st and a major surgery (i.e. very expensive surgery) on January 8th (nothing like getting that high deductible thingy out of the way, eh?).

So here’s the miracle of God’s blessing and faithfulness returned … When I clicked “Done” in TurboTax, my combined Federal & State return was almost EXACTLY the amount of my high deductable … plus $40.10 (hey, dinner!). God is so AMAZING. You will never be disappointed when you trust Him.

Tithing is one of my “soap box” issues – I’ve written have several blog posts about it. Back in 2007, Fair Oaks Church did a really creative promo for a tithing sermon that made fun of TurboTax and the PC/Mac commercials all in a minute and fifty seconds. It’s one of my favorites. Check it out:

God’s Hand in Everything – My 40-day Journey

It’s hard to believe that it’s been 40 days since I got the urgent call from my general practitioner’s office that I needed to get an emergency appointment with an oncologist and the word “Cancer” rolled uncomfortably off her tongue (she’s young and new to the practice so I think I may have been the first person she ever had to deliver that kind of news to).

When she already had the referral ready, the oncologist approved on my plan, the phone number and address, had already faxed them my lab results and insisted she was going to call me back in two hours to make sure I got an appointment within 48 hours or she was going to call them herself to get me in, I knew I better give this one my attention.

I happen to be home on the day I got the call, so my dear husband Edward over heard the conversation and came and sat by my side as I jotted down all the information my GP was giving me, “now write this down, Mrs. Yost – a-d-e-n-o-c-a-r-c-e-n-o-m-a.” When I hung up the phone all I could do is laugh, which I’m sure horrified my poor husband who surely thought I was insane. But I could almost hear the voice of God, who knew it would take something as dramatic as the “C” word to get me to stop and focus on my own needs and health. He’d given me a subtle nudge the year before and I blew him off (note to self: don’t blow off God).

Isn’t it amazing how many times “40 days” occurs in scripture?
· It rained for 40 days and 40 nights when God wanted to cleanse the world and start over. (Gen 7:12 KJV)
· Noah waited another 40 days after it rained before he opened a window in the Ark. (Gen 8:6 KJV)
· Embalming required 40 days (although this was an Egyptian custom, the Egyptians recognized the period of 40 for the preparation of going into a new life, what they called the afterlife) (Gen 50:3 KJV)
· Moses was on the mountain with God for 40 days (TWICE) (Exo 24:18 KJV) (Exo 34:28-29 KJV) (Deu 10:10 NIV)
· Moses' face shone after the 40 days on the mountain. (Exo 34:29 KJV)
· It took the spies 40 days to search out the promised land and bring back fruit (Num 13:25 KJV)
· The Israelites spent 40 years in the wilderness, one year for each day they explored the Promised Land. (Exo 16:35 KJV) (Num 14:33-34 NIV)
· Goliath came for forty days before being killed by David (1 Sam 17:16 NLT)
· Elijah strengthened by one angelic meal went forty days to Mount Horeb where the Lord passed by and he heard the voice of God (1 Ki 19:8 KJV)
· Jonah warned the City of Nineveh they had 40 days until God would overthrow the city. The people repented in those 40 days and God spared the city. (Jonah 3:4 and 10 KJV)
· Jesus fasted for 40 days in the wilderness (Mat 3:17 KJV) (Mat 4:1-2 KJV) Then was Jesus led up of the Spirit into the wilderness to be tempted of the devil.
· Jesus was seen in the earth 40 days after His crucifixion (Acts 1:3 NIV)
· There’s another half a dozen “40s” in the book Revelation alone, but that could be a whole separate blog post!

As yesterday, the day of my surgical follow up, marked day 40, I had to marvel at this whirlwind journey that feels like it ended almost as soon as it began (praise God!) when my oncologist gave me the “all clear” that I am officially cancer free. They did find some additional lesions during the hysterectomy that they didn’t expect, but all were benign and I will be off short-term-disability after, you guessed it, 40 DAYS.

I’ve never been the kind of person to ask “why” (oh, why, me God? Why cancer, God?) – it’s not my style. I’m more of “what” and “how” person (What I’m I supposed to learn from this? How will God have me use it for His glory?). God knows He has to flick me pretty hard in the forehead to get my attention (after all, he wired me that way) and that it would take something pretty drastic to get me to slow down (it was cancer or getting hit by a bus… I’m sure it was a heavenly coin toss).

I don’t believe in coincidences, I believe God’s hand is in everything – big and small. There was a moment about two-thirds of the way through my 40-day journey after the pathology from the cervical surgery came back negative for cancer (pre-cancer only) where my oncologist put the option out there that we could cancel the hysterectomy and go with a therapy alternative, but something inside of me (voice of God?) was telling me I was really supposed to have this last surgery.

…and so I listened, and God revealed why…

In addition the pre-cancerous lesions that the oncologist didn’t expect to find during the surgery, the hospital stay itself revealed an unrelated health problem that needed attention that I had been ignoring for about two years. You see, the “cancer call” was a surprise – the result of a routine annual exam for which I was experiencing NO symptoms or signs that indicated I had a problem. But there was a different issue that I did have symptoms for that I had been ignoring the importance of. Part of me feels like God used this 40-second-cancer-scare to make me deal with the other issue. A pretty hard flick in the forehead, God! But one I am grateful for because if not for the hospital stay with this last surgery I would have never had the medical corroboration to accompany my unvoiced complaint about symptoms that I was blowing off as just “in my head.”

God was clearly telling me to slow down and take a break and He knew I would never voluntarily take time off from work to take care of myself. Remember note to self– don’t blow off God.

Of course, God knows me, He made me, and He knows how focused, driven and stubborn I am – I can’t wait to see what He uses next to flick me in the forehead and how long it takes for me to notice. :-)

The “NOT” New Year’s List

Many years ago, I remember hearing that our long-time family friends Mary Jane and Terry Martin had a pretty interesting New Year’s tradition. I don’t know if they still do this, but how I remember it is that they used to sit down on New Year’s Eve, write out their individual predictions for what they thought the next year would hold for each of them, seal them up and save them for exchanging and reading until the following New Year’s Eve to see how close they had come … and then start all over again for the next year’s predictions.

I’ve always thought that it would be fun and interesting to do, but for whatever reason, just never did it.

As I take stock of these past 12 months, I can think of a LOT of things that would NOT have ended up on my prediction list for 2009 (had I actually sat down a wrote out a list on December 31, 2008). I would NOT have predicted…

… that I would resurrect my blog and actually post to it on a regular basis (68 including this one).
… that I would never once doubt or waver in my commitment to tithing … and then some.
… that the economy/labor market would still stink, leaving Edward still seeking employment.
… that the Lord would be so faithful in stretching our single income beyond what is actually possible.
… that I would like my new role, still like my company and really like my new boss.
… that I would help lead someone at work to Christ and that they and their children would be baptized!
… that GM would actually have to eliminate product lines like Pontiac just to survive this recession.
… that each of our family members would be serving in new ministry areas at church.
… that we would still be living in this aging townhouse.
… that the Pittsburgh Penguins would win the Stanley Cup against the Detroit Red Wings (and that we would enjoy game 7 from comfort of Pastor Roy's family room!)
… that my mom would go to a Women of Faith Conference with me … and actually ask to go again next year.
… that my best friend would get laid off from a job she’s had forever (but would find an even better job in a matter of weeks).
… that the snow storm of the century (22 inches) would start on my birthday.
… that a routine annual checkup would turn into a cancer diagnosis and the first of two surgeries on my husband’s birthday.

The list could probably go on and on which tells me it’s probably a wasted effort to try and predict the future. No matter how well you plan and no matter how much you think you know, God’s the only one who’s got a shot at penning that list. And as much as I’d love to rip His list open on January 2nd to see what this next year will hold, I know he’ll only let me see it one line at a time … and I’m okay with that.

The Wishbone Tradition

I expect it’s a fairly common ritual, practiced by families across America, to carve their Thanksgiving turkey carefully around the sacred wishbone so it can be momentarily protected from harm, only to be ripped apart later to pay homage to some pagan god who grants wishes to the “winner” – he (or she) who retained the larger of the two parts.

Sarcasm aside (and not for some fanatical faith-based beliefs against wish-making) that’s not the Wishbone Tradition in the Yost home.

For all the years we’ve been a family (including our first Thanksgiving together, the year before Edward and I married) we’ve kept the wishbone from our Thanksgiving turkey as a reminder of another year that we were so blessed to have things to be thankful for.

This year, although I am certainly thankful for all the things I am always thankful for… my Lord, my husband, my children, my church, my health, my job … I’m particularly thankful for God’s faithfulness through, what could be (what should be), a very trying financial time for our family.

Despite my husbands unplanned 22-month gap in employment, we have faithfully tithed and God has faithfully ensured our savings would stretch further than I thought possible. God has used these months to teach us patience, obedience, patience, trust and patience.

After this year’s wishbone dries enough for me to write “2009” on it, I will not break it in half and “wish” for Edward to find a job (although I will pray to God for it). Instead, I will place it with the others to remember 2009 as a year of amazing joy for God’s faithfulness, knowing how precious and exclusive it is that we have been first-hand witnesses to God’s promise proved.

May your Thanksgiving memories – past, present and those yet to be made – and God’s blessings in your life be forever-captured in your memories, hearts and traditions.
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Out of the Mouths of Babes

…and into the fiery pits of Hell.

At some point in my life (not soon, I imagine) my time in this world will be over and I will head home to be with my heavenly father. I have frequently imagined (start humming MercyMe here) what this might be like - knowing that my limited mortal brain cannot begin to conceive of its glory (but I’m sure chocolate is involved). All my mental pictures were recently replaced by a less pleasant scenario…

I arrive at the gates of heaven to be greeted by Jesus, a few choice angels and God Himself who is holding a DVD of my life in His hands. He pops it in the DVD player, but there’s really no point in watching it all, I lived it and He wrote it. We both know what’s on there – so just skip to the good stuff: The Blooper Tracks.

As He scrolls through Bonus Features to find the Blooper of choice and hits the play button, I look around to the ground below me to see if I’m standing on a trap door that leads straight to Hell, but attention is drawn back up to Jesus who is laughing so hard tears are running down His cheeks as we watched the clip below.

Yes, yes. I’m the parent who was out SHOPPING while my 12-year-old son sat in the front row as a shining example for Pastor Stokes as the future of the church. As I wrestled past the mortification (the horror, oh the horror) right through justification (I tithe, I serve, I’m there every Wednesday, do I really have to be at all 3 weekend services?) take a pit stop at guilt (what kind of message am I sending the kids, they’re here for all 3 weekend services, what a horrible model for them, I should be doing more) I was finally able to appreciate the humor.

My friend Tracey Dowdey (who is a pastor’s wife and has surely heard it all) said it was truly one of her favorite church moments of all time. Tracey’s words often make me feel all warm inside, but I'm afraid the flush of heat I feel is from the pits of hell this time.

Or perhaps those flames warming me from below are from the parent-sin-pride from hearing Pastor Stokes say such lovely things about my youngest angel and his heart for the Lord (yeah, yeah - if I hadn't been out shopping, I could have heard it all first hand instead of having several of my brothers and sisters in Christ call me after that service to tell me all about it and send me links to the webcast so I can watch it over and over again).

Thank God I’m saved, ‘cause I’m sure not perfect!

Take Two on Tithing

Two weeks ago I posted A Testimony of Tithing on my blog to tell the story of my personal discovery of what it truly means to tithe, my financial journey to put God first in my finances, the blessing tithing has brought me and a testimony of God’s faithfulness in our lives during a time of financial trial.

My hope was that others who read the post would add their tithing stories of blessing to the comments, creating a collection of praise to God. I was happy for the affirming comments and stories that did come in, but I also received comments of another sort. I shouldn’t have been surprised, I suppose, but I am ever disappointed at fellow Christians’ ability to snipe when confronted with an idea that makes them feel a bit… convicted.

I posted A Testimony of Tithing in several places, so some of the responses are posted on Linkedin Discussion boards and some were emailed to me but the objections ranged from complaints that there is no Biblical basis for tithing from your gross income (versus net), that my suggestion that I felt blessed by tithing was akin to suggesting one could pay God to get His blessings, and that tithing of one’s time and talent is included in the calculation in coming up with the 10%, it’s not all from money.

So – big surprise – I have some thoughts about all that.

Most importantly, thank you – to everyone… good, bad and u.. uh-oh – for taking the time to comment. If you have a story about God’s blessings in your life that you relate to your faithfulness of tithing, I would love you to add it to the comments so that others may know your experience and be blessed by it.

One of the things that struck me (and disappointed me) when I was writing the first blog post was that when I did a Google search on tithing, the return was 90% negative. I had to go through pages and pages to get past the articles that tithing was not Biblical, tithing didn’t mean a 10th, tithing isn’t supposed to be of gross, tithing is exclusively an Old Testament concept, etc., etc., to finally find something in support of tithing.

Tithing is not just commanded in the Old Testament (Lev 27:30, Deut 14:22-29) but affirmed by Jesus himself in the New Testament (Matt 12:41-44, Luke 11:42, Matt 23:23). Yes it is specifically a 10th (Gen 14:1, Gen 28:20-22, Deut 14:22-29) and yes it is of everything (gross) you have (Prov 3:9-10, Deut 16:17) and although YES tithing should be done out of love and thanksgiving with a cheerful heart (2 Cor 9:5-15, Deut 12:5-7), there is a reward for the obedience and faithfulness of tithing (Heb 6:10, Luke 6:38). After all, everything that we have is HIS first (1 Chr 29:11-17, Deut 16:17) and we’re only returning a small portion of what He blessed us with to begin with, right? So not giving it back is like steeling from God (Mal 3:7-12).

I agree wholeheartedly that tithing isn’t limited to money (Lev 27:32) but I don’t think 5% of your income, 3% of your talent and 2% of your time to add up to “10” is what God had in mind. Just think of how amazing the church’s ministry could be if we were all giving at least 10% of all of those things. Yes, yes – I said the church. No, the clothes you gave to Goodwill and $20 you put in the Salvation Army bucket don’t count – that’s the “and then some” that comes with its own blessing. We are commanded to support the church and specifically its ministers (Num 18:21, Neh 12:43-47, Gal 6:6) with our tithes.

Coincidentally, (or God-incidentally) the week after my post, our pastor preached a sermon on tithing! If you want to watch a great and relevant sermon by Pastor David R. Stokes of Fair Oaks Church, click here (http://bit.ly/98GsP) or visit www.loudonpurpose.com. There is also a great four-generation video testimony of tithing on the Fair Oaks Arts blog that is worth checking out: Tithing Rocks!

For lighter take - Fair Oaks Church also put together some really cute videos about two years ago poking fun at the Mac v PC commercials to promote their iChurch series – the one on tithing will give you a good chuckle: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h37wTtAKouM.

If you want to read my original tithing post, click here: A Testimony of Tithing. Let me, again, encourage you to share your tithing stories that others may be blessed and encouraged.

Just as you excel in everything-- in faith, in speech, in knowledge, in complete earnestness and in your love for us-- see that you also excel in this grace of giving. - 2 Cor 8:7

A Testimony of Tithing

I consider myself quite fortunate to have been “raised in the church” and to have had the act of financial giving modeled for me from the earliest age. Although I must say, my perceptions of what “giving” meant in my youth as a Catholic girl and what it means in my adulthood as a saved, born-again believer worshiping in a New Testament church, are vastly different.

The word “tithe” may have been used in the context of “giving to the church” in my house (although I don’t remember it), but it was certainly never openly defined as “a tenth” of your gross income.

I watched my parents religiously put cash or a check in the envelope each week (and after my first communion, I got my own envelops to fill and bring to church) but the “tithe” or offering was more loosely defined as “what we’ve decided to give the church” or “what we can afford to give the church.”

There was also no explanation, perceived value or case built for the blessing that comes from putting God first in your finances or that it’s done out of love and thanksgiving. It was an obligation.

I remember, well into my adulthood, the first time I heard a solid tithing sermon and had that “ah-ha” moment. I went home that Sunday, pulled up the online banking, did the math and found that my inconsistent giving had added up to about 8.5 % … oh, wait – that was net income – it was a little more than 7% of gross income. Ouch- I’ve got some work to do.

I wish I could tell you that I stepped out on faith and immediately began giving 10% the very next week, and every week thereafter (no justifications, just an explanation), but like most people, my expenses were pretty equal to my income and it was going to require some long-term lifestyle changes to make it work. I'd say the lack of faith was directed at myself, not God.

I was a good position (and determined) to get there quickly – no credit card debt, no outstanding loans, just a modest car payment and the regular household bills, but $20k a year in daycare was a killer and there was no way "manage that expense better" - it it what it is.

It started with the tax refund. Somehow (God’s handy work, I’m sure of it) it was much more than we expected it to be … so that can go right back to Him!

Trust? Test? Reward? Hmmmm…

Next, out of nowhere, I received promotion and raise at work – well, that’s like “found money” right? So that can go right back to God without even missing it. To make a long story short, the months that followed were filled with occurrences like that one where my faithfulness to define “tithe” as an actual 10% of gross income was rewarded with God’s trust in me to be a good steward of more ... and then more. In the same year that I finally hit the 10% mark, I received two promotions and three raises. Praise God!!!

In this last year, however, our family has experienced a potentially significant financial crisis. I say “potentially” because as I have remained faithful in putting God first in my finances, He has been faithful to our family. There have been many a weeks over the past year that I could not believe we did not run short in paying the bills. Somehow, when my own calculations told me we were about to come up short, there just seemed to be what we needed … and frequently more.

Now I don’t expect my testimony about my tithing experience to drive someone to suddenly start giving if they weren't or to give more than they had been. And I certainly wouldn’t want someone to take from this testimony that they should give more so they can get more - that motivation is as off-base as the giving out of obligation.

Let my encouragement and message be that act of tithing has been far more of a spiritual gift back to myself than it has been of financial benefit to the church and you cannot imagine the blessing of giving until you’ve gotten there! Let me end with this thought…

A generous man will prosper; he who refreshes others will himself be refreshed. - Proverbs 11:25

UPDATE: a followup to this story was posted on June 27, 2009. See Take Two on Tithing.