The “NOT” New Year’s List 2012

On New Year’s Eve, 2009 I posted a story about our long-time family friends Mary Jane and Terry Martin who had a New Year’s tradition of  writing out their individual predictions for what they thought the next year would hold for each of them, seal them up and save them for exchanging and reading until the following New Year’s Eve to see how close they had come … and then start all over again for the next year’s predictions.

When I wrote about that in 2009, it was more of reflection for me of what I would not have ever predicted would happen in the prior 12 months. As I look back at this past year, it’s amazing to me the things that would NEVER have ended up on my prediction list for 2012 (had I actually sat down a wrote out a list on December 31, 2011). I would NOT have predicted… … that at 43 years old my family would grow by one more son as our family brought home beautiful bouncing teenage boy.
… that the Lord would be so faithful in stretching our income beyond what is actually possible, enabling us to provide for our expanded family.

… that despite our already stretched budget God would bless us so abundantly that we were able to buy a house 3 years ahead of schedule.

… that I would never once doubt or waver in my commitment to tithing … and then some.
… that Edward, who has resisted the idea of teleworking his job for years would finally give in to the concept and find that he loves it.

… that after pouring great effort into my blog for 3 years, posting 1 – 3 times a week, that I would let it collect dust for almost the whole year, posting only twice (this being the second).
… that there would be NO HOCKEY SEASON
… that after years of managing my Carpal Tunnel pain, that a brief encounter with a moving box would result in 2 months of unbearable pain, finally ending in the first of two surgeries (that I now wish I'd done years ago).
... that my oldest son, who had been committed to one career path for 5 or more years would suddenly change majors and would have to start the college search from scratch.

The list could probably go on and on which tells me it’s probably a wasted effort to try and predict the future. No matter how well you plan and no matter how much you think you know, God’s the only one who’s got a shot at penning that list. And as much as I’d love to rip His list open on January 2nd to see what this next year will hold, I know he’ll only let me see it one line at a time … and I’m okay with that.

GIVING in to Addiction

According to an article in Psychology Today by Stephen Mason, Ph.D., only 10 – 15% of the population have an “addictive personality” disorder resulting in out-of-control habits without the simple judgment of knowing when to stop. For the other 85% - 90% of the population who do not have addictive personality disorder, they can have one drink without having 10. They can play one or two hands of black jack at a casino and (weather they are up or down) walk away. They can come home from the hospital and take the two Vicodin per day as prescribed and not get addicted to prescription pain killers.

I’ve never thought of myself as having an addictive personality. I have a fair amount of self-discipline so it’s not that hard for me to break a habit (or just not start one) if I put my mind to it. But sometimes there are compulsions you aren’t terribly motivated to “put your mind to” to stop because it makes you feel good to do it. If you could stop and you choose not to, is that addiction?

An example might be people who are addicted to exercise (I wish this were my problem). Often a companion symptom of Anorexia, people can get addicted to working out because of the endorphin rush they get and with addictive personality, they just want more and more of that endorphin infusion, so they exercise to excess (and even good things, in excess, can be harmful).

There is one area in my life where I can relate to the addictive personality experience, getting excessive pleasure out of that endorphin rush of doing something over and over again that makes you feel good  and 85% of the population just doesn’t get it and may never experience the pleasure the way you do…

According to an article in the NY Sun, universities and independent research groups have studied the psychology of GIVING and concluded that people who give (time, money, items, blood) are 3 times more likely to consider their lives “very happy” as compared to those who do not give as a part of their lifestyle.

“A number of studies have researched exactly why charity leads to happiness. The surprising conclusion is that giving affects our brain chemistry. For example, people who give often report feelings of euphoria, which psychologists have referred to as the "Helper's High." They believe that charitable activity induces endorphins that produce a very mild version of the sensations people get from drugs like morphine and heroin.”

I have to admit, by those descriptions, I qualify. I get an endorphin high from giving (volunteering) my time to others and adrenaline rush from seeing that bi-weekly contribution come out of my bank account to Fair Oaks Church which supports the cause of Christ and the work of the Kingdom of God. Perhaps it’s the natural competitive nature if the “NT” temperament, but I really do get a jolt out of getting my year-end contribution statements and seeing that I gave more this year than last year. It’s a goal – a competition with myself – to find new efficiencies (budget and schedule) that enable me to give more.

In that context, you’ll have to mark me in the 10-15% group – addicted to giving.

There’s another percentage you often hear related to charitable giving – it’s the 80/20 rule… that 20% of the people are doing 80% of the total giving. I don’t know that to be specifically true at Fair Oaks Church, but I’d be willing to bet it’s close… and it’s heartbreaking.

There so much more we could be doing for the Kingdom of God, if more people were giving. How many more of the lost could we reach for the cause of Christ? Howabout Biblical obedience? How about God’s promise and the blessing that comes from putting Him first in your finances? And I’m not just talking about the endorphin blessing of feeling good about what you’re doing, but a real, tangible, measurable blessing from trusting God with your money.

Every so often Pastor Stokes will put out his Malachi 3:10-12 challenge - that if you commit to faithfully tithe 10% of your gross income to Fair Oaks Church for one year and you do not see God’s tangible blessing in your life, Fair Oaks Church will write you a check back to refund that tithe. As someone who has been faithful tithing for years, I can honestly say that there is not one time where I felt that 10% would have been better in my hands than in God’s. My faithfulnessreturned to me 10 fold and I give God all the glory. God can do more with 10% than you can do with the remaining 90% - guaranteed.

Not ready for that big of a leap of faith? How about something more relevant to the calendar… many people will celebrate the New Year with a bottle of Champagne. Why not take that same amount of money that you might have spent on that bubbly and consider making a one-time gift to Fair Oaks Church for the same amount? If research proves to be true, you could get that same warm endorphin rush from GIVING that you might get from the glass of champagne. I can’t offer you a refund policy, but I can offer you a nice convenient way to give online by CLICKING HERE and, of course, if you do it before midnight on New Year’s Eve, you could claim it as a deduction on your 2011 taxes.

Just as you excel in everything-- in faith, in speech, in knowledge, in complete earnestness and in your love for us-- see that you also excel in this grace of giving. - 2 Cor 8:7

Debt-Free in 2011

This week at Fair Oaks Church we will begin a 6-session growth group based on Joe Sangl’s “I Was Broke. Now I’m Not” that teaches people how to win with their money in a way that honors God. As I’ve been preparing to help lead this growth group I started thinking about my own “money story.”

My sister tells people that I still have the first dollar I ever earned. I don’t - although that would be neat if I did – I did eventually spend that dollar and the others I’d been saving up from my paper route. I’ve always been a saver. Starting with elementary-aged allowance, then to the middle-school paper route and teenaged afterschool jobs, what excited me about working was the security of the pile of money in my sock drawer, not the plans and dreams of what I was going to spend it on.

Although some may find that enviable, you have to be careful you don’t become the third servant who buries his talents (Mathew 25:14-30). I’m good at saving and it’s served me well through the financial ups and downs I’ve had, but while Joe Sangl was at Fair Oaks Church last weekend for the Financial Learning Event (and I heard him back in 2008 too), I realized that with all that I may have been doing right, I was still missing something.

He and I were talking between services and I was telling him how we are only a few months away from being 100% debt free using his snow-ball method and he asked me the simplest of questions which was followed by my dumbfounded silence. He asked, “so once you’re debt-free, what dream vacation are you going to put all that extra money toward?”

Now that question shouldn’t have been so challenging (and I think I dumbfounded Joe when I told him I had no such plans) but I haven’t saved up for a planned vacation since our honeymoon. Joe is all about using your dreams (and funding those dreams) as a financial motive for sticking to the debt-free plan. I agree it’s important but I really didn’t need that kind of motive to stick to the plan – I was born to stick to the plan – but that doesn’t mean I don’t have dreams and goals worth saving for.

My most immediate financial goal (which is what I told Joe I’d be putting my freed up money toward instead of a vacation) is my kids’ college fund. It took my husband and I so long to get out from under our college debt that here we are in our 40’s, about to be debt free for the third time (woo hoo) but have never owned a home. We were actually on track to be funding the kids’ 529 plans at the correct pace to cover their tuition fully and have a down payment for our first home when my husband unexpectedly joined the 14.5 million unemployed in the US.

For two and a half years the money we had planned on putting toward college was used for living expenses. There was a little start on both the 529s and the home down payment but they didn’t experience the rapid growth that was planned for them. Now that we’re back to 2 incomes, we have a lot of ground to make up and it’s hard to see past that to some dream vacation.

But it did get me thinking … what are those dreams (after college, a house and retirement are covered) that I need to be working to fund? The family café my husband and I always joke about opening some day? an Alaskan cruise? the ability to work for God full time and man part time rather than the reverse?

What are the dreams you would fund if you were debt free and financially secure?