You’re Going To Touch Me Where?

Okay, lesson learned. I’ll not be wearing my hair up to travel by air ever again. Flying out of Dulles to Atlanta, standing in line for security, I get pulled for the new-fangled full-body scan. No big deal. Stand sideways between two 7-foot x-ray panels, put your hands over your head and hold your breath for 10 seconds. Then, step out and wait for screening personnel in a remote location to give the all-clear so you can put your shoes, belt, watch, jacket and other assorted apparel back on.

BUT WAIT! No “all-clear” for me. The EZ Hair Comb ® that’s holding my hair into a twist is apparently a terrorist threat. I had to wait while someone put on gloves to come inspect my hair to ensure I was not hiding any weapons in there. “Excuse me, Ma’am, but is that a gun in your bun?”

This did not bother me. Frankly, I wondered as I put my hair up this morning if it would it would set off the metal detectors … and I still didn’t know that because I went straight to the full body scan.

Lucky for me, on the way back from Atlanta this evening, my concerns were affirmed – YES the EZ Hair Comb ® does set off the airport security metal detectors! (Oh, did I mention the part where my boss is standing on the other side waiting for me to come out and we had been trying to rush through the airport to see if we could get on an earlier flight since our meeting ended early.) So I’m thinking they are going to just wave one of those wands over my head to confirm that’s where the beeping is coming from and let me move on. (Oh please don’t make me take the combs out. I’ll never get them back in without a mirror.)

Again, lucky me. I won the full body security molestation – I mean, pat-down. Now, as soon as I fail the metal detector, the lock me in a clear “stand-by” box and call for a female security officer. And she did ask me if I wanted to do it right there or if I wanted to go to a private area. I look over at my boss who is just shaking her head and looking at her watch and say, “let’s just do it.” I mean seriously – there may be two thousand people watching this woman touch EVERY part of my body, but I don’t know any of them and I’m never going to see them again – what the heck. By the way, did you know they put their hands in and under your shirt and into the waistband of your pants and feel between your toes? My mammogram was less invasive. Then they take the gloves they were wearing when they fondled you and run them through a scanner to ensure they didn’t pick up any toxins or explosives you were trying to sneak on the plane sprinkled across your clothing.

Remarkably, the earlier flight that my boss and I were trying to catch was delayed so we just made it. All of that excitement and I still got home earlier than I expected. God is good – he’s got a serious sense of humor, but He’s good!

So an ENTP and an INTJ walk into a funeral …

One of the things I find most enjoyable about my ENTP son is the random out-of-nowhere questions or conversations he comes up with that, as an INTJ, I might have the thought, but it would never make it out of my mouth. These are the same conversations that would make my ISFJ husband want to drive a fork through his left eye because he doesn’t understand why the question is even asked and even less why I engage and prolong the agony.

ENTP: Mom, if I died right now, how many people would people would come to my funeral?
INTJ: I don’t know, 200 – 300 maybe?
ENTP: Really?
INTJ: More than would come to mine, that’s for sure.
ENTP: Nuh uh. Why would you think that?
INTJ: You’re a classic Extrovert, Dear. In half the years, you’ve made 3 times the friends.
ENTP: Ehh, all those people at my funeral are only showing up for the goodie bags.
INTJ: Goodie bags? What kind of funeral have you been to that has goodie bags?
ENTP: You know, goodie bags! Something to bring home to remember it by.
INTJ: Well you better remember tell your future wife, ‘cause I won’t be there to plan it.
ENTP: Why not?
INTJ: Well, I hope to be long dead by the time you die.
ENTP: No, no, no. You can’t die before me. I can’t deal with that.
INTJ: Honey, I have to die first, otherwise that means you’ll die young, and that’s not cool.
ENTP: No, you can live to be 102 and I’ll still live into my 80’s.
INTJ: Oh honey, I have no desire to live to be 102. My financial advisor says my retirement money’s going to run out at 92, so I better croak before I see 93 or I’ll be on your doorstep.
ENTP: Oh, Mom. You can come live with me when you’re 93. You can run around my house telling my kids that when you grew up teachers still used paddles.
INTJ: Honey, if you’re kids are still living at home when you’re 85, you’ve got bigger problems than your mom running out of retirement money.
ENTP: You know, my kindergarten teacher had a paddle too. She never used it, but she made sure we knew she had it.
INTJ: Yeah, clearly you were permanently traumatized… Did you get a goodie bag to remember it by?

Real conversation we had on the way to church tonight.

Personality Type & Family Relationships Seminar

MBTI Workshop Offered at Fair Oaks Church

At the end of a terrible day, you need a quiet evening with a book to shake it off, but your spouse needs an evening out with friends to unwind from a bad day. You need a check list to get things done, but your teenager needs the TV and the iPod going to get their homework finished. These simple differences can create havoc in the home if you don't understand them. The MBTI is a great tool for gaining insight into your spouse or... children to improve communication and understanding while reducing conflict.

2 million people a year take the MBTI, usually through their employer, to help them make constructive use of their differences and promote understanding and effective cooperation. Those same basic MBTI principles applied to couples and families can improve communication and interpersonal relationships, promoting positive attitudes towards different styles, and facilitate understanding, appreciation and respect between husband and wife and parents and children.

I have been working with the MBTI for years as a business and coaching tool, but in the summer of 2010, I was privileged to have the opportunity to bring the MBTI concept together with personal-life applications in a marriage and parenting workshop at Fair Oaks Church (see dails here).

It was a great joy to be able to share the tool with other married couples and parents and have already seen fruits of success from the MBTI seeds planted during that workshop!

This relationships workshop is being offered again at Fair Oaks Church on Saturday, March 5, 2011 from 8:00am to 12:15pm - free of charge, child care included! If you think you may be interested, you can sign up at LoudOnPurpose.com or click here: https://spreadsheets.google.com/a/loudonpurpose.com/viewform?hl=en&ndplr=1&formkey=dG5WYy11QlBGOUlyNzhtZGlIV0YtWmc6MQ#gid=0.

To participate in the workshop, you will need to complete the MBTI questionnaire in advance. Stop by the Chapel on February 27th before, between or after services - it will only take you 15 to 20 minutes. If you are unable to take the questionnaire on the 27th, please contact me to see if we can arrange another time.

If you are going to need child care, please make sure you register here so we can plan for enough child care providers.

For more information on the MBTI, visit the Myers-Briggs (MBTI) Resource Central.